he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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