Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
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i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
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You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize