We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
