pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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