Quick, to the slutcave!
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
