that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Do vagina's smell?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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