we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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