tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
