we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I will be naked everywhere
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
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