Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
