Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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