I am spending my child support on dildos
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I think I just sharted jello shots
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