I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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