drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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