Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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