why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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