is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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