His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
