i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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