Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
