you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
