I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
