Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
