Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
There r osticjed everywhere
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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