I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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