She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
