I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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