five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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