her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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