He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
