i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
