Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Dignity is for republicans.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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