I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
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He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
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Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Sorry about my life...
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
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