i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize