so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
