I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
