dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
