I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You left your phone here
Wait...
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