I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
God, I missed his penis.
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