I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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