you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
The air taste purple.
Randomize
