Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I supernannyed him into submission
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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