um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
