Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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