This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
