I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
