everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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