My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
