Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
