haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
