i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
