I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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