Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Someone signed my nipple.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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