Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
