I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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