I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
