Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
