Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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