and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
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