i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
