Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

I'm being pulled over???

(520): View more from Arizona

For what!?!?!

(323): View more from California

??? I'm in a cab!!!!!

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(510): View more from California

Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.

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(817): View more from Texas

Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though

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(406): View more from Montana

He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...

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(931): View more from Tennessee

Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.

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(208): View more from Idaho

He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."

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(757): View more from Virginia

don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.

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